Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
