wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
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