Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
