apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize