So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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