The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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