If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
