I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
