All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
