@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
there is puke in my bra ... again
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
