she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
My vagina is officially offended.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Randomize
