im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
