My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
