Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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