The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
