just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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