Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
