Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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