great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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