sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
