I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
