What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Randomize
