I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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