its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
