They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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