Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
