If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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