yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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