I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
