im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
