the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
