After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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