Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
