Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
