Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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