haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
