jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
