Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
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