I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize