I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
