and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
