Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize