Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
