People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
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