my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
