omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
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