I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You ruined the universe
Randomize
