R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
