y did u give ur computer a hand job?
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Thank you for not boning my boss.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
