You did not just play the dead husband card again.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
