you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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