It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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