Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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