I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize