I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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