Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize