The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
